In the year of 2020, 
there came a secondary plague,
A word that entered lexicon
and made us all afraid -

It was on the lips of politicians, 
commentators and news readers
Influencers, Auntie Sue - 
and other minor global leaders.

You know it, Oh of course you do! 
It’s in your mind cemented 
A word you hardly said before - 
the word UNPRECEDENTED!

When a bat-shyt crazy virus, 
swept round the world in weeks
It was UNPRECEDENTED, 
said entomologic geeks.

When millions died and life collapsed 
and we all stayed at home,
When loo roll was our currency 
as we apocolypsed alone

When vaccines rolled out super-fast 
and we were all injected
When we clapped an NHS 
we now suddenly respected -

“We’ve never seen this, blow me down” 
is the way it was presented
The conclusion (and the get-out-clause) 
“This is UNPRECEDENTED!”

As time went on the word became 
a new part of our lives
As things ‘UNPRECEDENTED’ 
snowballed before our eyes…

When floods and fires were at their worst
since records had begun
When women’s rights unravelled
as they’d only just been won

When rules were made about our wombs
and rich men went to space,
When violence and extreme right views
were gathering apace

When the climate threw a wobbly, 
that we could not ignore
When war broke out and holocaust 
came closer than before

When a coup was perpetrated - 
by an actual President -
They looked around for ages, 
but could find NO PRECEDENT!

When an artful haystack Twonk was caught 
red-handed in his lies
When his resignation triggered 
a new Lord of the Flies,

When trains did strike, and petrol price 
was now an arm and leg -
When drugs and lettuce were now scarce 
in our new-made Brexit bed

When cost of living soared up high, 
to a point of heat or eat
(A dilemma the poor were told 
they should budget well to beat)

You guessed it - there it is again - 
though you might start to resent it -
The whole thing is reported as
EVENTS UNPRECEDENTED!

With so much going wrong right now, 
from here to Timbuktu
It might seem like vocabulary 
is not the fight to choose…

But it’s time to take a stand somewhere, 
and look for real solutions
Escape the tyranny of language 
in a lingui-revolution!

So let us unite and rail against 
this icksome, irksome word -
So under-sensed and over-used 
it’s really quite absurd.

Like Inigo Montoya in revenge 
we must be heard and seen:
We do not think that word you use 
means what you think it means…

Leaders! MPs! Journalists! 
And warriors of keyboard!
It’s time to drop the epithet
of which we’re bored and re-bored -

The bloody thing is meaningless
and driving us demented
Give it a rest we’re not impressed
Don’t say ___________ !

Stop hiding safe behind it, 
like it’s some sort of defence
We demand that you begin to set
a brand new PRECEDENCE -

One where you take real action, 
and responsibility -
And meet our global challenges 
with some basic empathy.

The world is changing fast, it’s true - 
at a speed that’s unrelenting -
But we can’t respond in ways that work 
if we’re still UNPRECEDENTING.