It’s nearly Elf on the shelf time!
Elf on the Shelf has become weirdly controversial.
People tend to be militantly FOR or AGAINST it.
The Againsts have two key – and very fair – points. The whole thing gets irritatingly sanctimommy-competitive and parent-shamey – plus it’s also just odd to have an alien spy in the house telling tales on your kids, and/or being naughty itself – while expecting them to be good.
Look, the whole thing is a) a lot of effort and b) ethically confusing. I get it. But I also happen to LOVE Elf on the Shelf.
Elf on the Shelf came into our lives in 2018, when my husband had just left. I was desperate to make some magic for the Smalls when it seemed like it had all been sucked from the world. The Elf came in and sprinkled it. It gave all of us something to focus on, and look forward to. It gave us magic back.
Our Elf, though, is a special kind of Elf.
It’s a Kindness Elf.
That means it sets Kindness Challenges through December to remind the kids what Christmas is REALLY about – with the added bonus that they all – weirdly – happen to be relatively low maintenance! (Relatively).
Three years in, and I now have a poem/treasure hunt for its arrival on the 1st, challenges for every day of December, and a goodbye poem for its exit on the 25th!
LORD KNOWS, no one should be taking any sort of parenting advice from me. BUT, someone said the other day some people might actually like a Kindness Elf cheat-sheet. So this is Elfing for people who don’t Elf, who are a bit lazy, but who still believe – a little bit – in a little bit magic. xxxx
PART 1: DAY 1 WELCOME POEM AND TREASURE HUNT
Hello XXX Hello XXX I hope you’re both okay I’m really quite excited That I’m here again to stay!/ That I’ve come to you to stay! I’ll tell Santa all about you - How wonderful you are The things you do for others All the times you are a STAR! This December he wants to see How good you are, how kind - How you give out the best of you And scatter round sunshine. So I’ll be setting CHALLENGES For you to have some Xmas fun - And share your spark around the place Bringing light to everyone! The first challenge is to find me And follow all my clues I’ve made this one super easy You’ll find it in your shoes…. 2. (Shoes) Next it’ll be a little harder You’ll really have to look The clue is out of sight you see - Somewhere that you COOK 3. (Oven) I hope it’s not too cold for you If this clue rhymes with WINTER When you want your work on paper You print it on a…………? 4. (Printer) Well done team you’re doing well But I’m still flying free - Why not have a look for me In a spangly sparkly TREE? 5. (Xmas tree) Excellent work! You’re on a roll And so is the next clue... It’s somewhere you’ll might find a sink A shower/bath or .…? 6. (Loo roll) Now you’ll have to seek me Where Mummy rests her head Am I hiding in a duvet Or a pillow on the bed? 7. (Parent bed) Ha! You haven’t found me yet! But you’re doing really great Have a look inside a cupboard Where you keep your cups and PLATES… 8. (Kitchen cupboard) The next one’s somewhere high And very very bright It’s somewhere in the Living Room Somewhere on a ….…? 9. (Lamp/light) You’re nearly there now brilliant work I’m impressed down to my toes! You’ll find me waiting patiently Somewhere you wash your clothes... 10. (Washing machine) HI! You finally found me! I’m so pleased to be here! To help you spread round kindness And a little Christmas cheer. ELF XXXXX
DAY BY DAY IDEAS, MESSAGES AND CHALLENGES
Day 2
Message: Did I make you smile? Make someone else smile today!
Idea: Elf is somewhere random stuffed inside 3 toilet rolls. Top one has eyes drawn on (biro will do). Buttons down the others. Sticks/chopsticks/forks sticking out between rolls 1 and 2 for arms. Stick on orange card nose or hell, a real carrot if you’re super creative. Talk at dinner time about who they made smile and how.
Day 3
Message: Brave means being scared and doing it anyway. Be brave today!
Idea: Elf has done a bungee jump! Get a piece of string and dangle it off something high by its ankle. Maybe watch videos of real bungee jumps together to show them what Elf did! Talk about what they did that was brave that day/week.
Day 4
Message: It’s always good to make new friends! Make a friend today.
Idea: Fill a (thick) balloon with flour and draw a face on – and leave out stuff for kids to do the same. Hopefully they will play with new friends all day!
Day 5
Message: Be an ANGEL at XXXX today!
Idea: Want your kids to be super good for a December activity? Elf has made a snow-angel in flour on the kitchen side (easy to wipe clean). Top tip is to make the angel with your hand so no flour (or very little) actually gets on your hand.
Day 6
Message: XXX you are kind and funny and I love hearing you laugh. XXX you are honest and brave and a lovely friend. Kindness Challenge: Can you pay 3 people a complement today?
Idea: Elf has left little compliment messages for both kids, and challenges them to pay compliments to 3 people during the day. Discuss on school run home/ over dinner to find out how they did!
Day 7
Message: Kindness Challenge: Look after someone hurt, sad or left out today
Idea: Elf is cuddling a fave toy/putting a bandage/plaster on a fave toy. Discuss after school who they were kind too and why.
Day 8
Message: Kindness Challenge: Show your friends you love them! Send them a Christmas card!
Idea: Elf has left out cards for kids to write to best pals. (Please Lord don’t do the whole class as no one has time for that shizzle).
Day 8 Alt
Message: Today’s Challenge is to LISTEN. Talk to a friend and listen to their ideas, thoughts, worries and hopes. Come back and tell me all about it!
Idea: Elf has a rolled up tube of paper held to its ear. If you don’t do cards, this is another relatively easy option.
Day 9
Message: BOO! Give someone a NICE surprise today!
Idea: Elf is somewhere surprising. Behind a cushion you casually ask them to move, or a door you casually ask them to open. Discuss who they surprised later.
Day 10
Message: What goes Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backwards! Tell someone a joke today!
Idea: Look up Xmas jokes together. Get them to tell you who they told and what the reaction was!
Day 11
Message: Be kind to yourself today – have a pamper afternoon/evening!
Idea: Ok cleary works better for girls, I suppose, but everyone is welcome! Buy cheap facemasks for Elf to leave, or put out ingredients to make with honey and oats. Put hot water and smelly stuff in the washing up bowl as a foot spa, give a foot and hand massage afterwards with body lotion – and maybe paint nails if that’s your thing.
Day 12
Message: Have fun together having a snowball fight!
Idea: Another toilet roll/kitchen roll sacrifice. Elf has screwed up lots into balls and left all over the living room floor. Throw them around for a bit. Surprisingly easy to clear up. Especially if the kids are ‘kind’ and help.
Day 13
Message: Kindness Challenge: Share something with someone today.
Idea: Elf is sat in a circle with several toys, and has shared out sweeties evenly. Give them after school snacks to share out? Anyway, get them to tell you their sharing stories later.
Day 14
Message: Be a STAR for your parents today!
Idea: Lordy December drags on, doesn’t it? An easy one when you can’t be arsed. Elf is on a star – wherever you have one, eg top of Xmas tree.
Day 15
Message: Make rainbows today! Can you bring rainbows to someone else today?
Idea: Leave out skittles in a circle on a plate. Pour on a bit of hot water. Instant rainbow. Also instant sweeties…
Day 16
Message: Not everyone gets lots of presents. Kindness Challenge: Make a Christmas Box for charity.
Idea: Possibly you do this together already? But it’s a good way to Elf it.
Day 16 Alt
Message: Not everyone has enough to eat – especially at Christmas. Donate some food to a Food Bank today.
Idea: Elf has some tins and pasta ready – you can go to the shops to get more and put in a donation bin. Involves less organisation than a Christmas box.
Day 17
Message: Kindness Challenge: Help your Mum/Dad sort the washing today!
Idea: Elf is on top of Washing Mountain. Hopefully you’ll actually get help to sort it and put it away.
Day 18
Message: It’s Be Kind to Your Sibling Day! Kindness Challenge: Do 2 kind things for your sister/brother.
Idea: For when they’re proper driving you CRAZY with the arguments.
Day 18 Alt
Message: Kindness Challenge: Help to wrap some presents today!
Idea: Elf is there with paper and scissors, and has possibly made a mess with the sellotape. (Clearly not all kids have siblings, and it’s another good one to get help with chores).
Day 19
Message: Kindness Challenge: Make someone some Christmas biscuits!
Idea: Or slow-cooker fudge. Or whatever. Elf is on the side with ingredients. Basically a baking activity but you wrap it up in baking paper and force it on unsuspecting neighbours/relatives.
Day 20
Message: The Kind Voice Jar! You get to eat all these sweets at the end of the day. BUT, if you are mean, one sweet will get taken away. How many will you have left?
Idea: Elf has two empty jars with the leftover Halloween sweeties in. Another one for when they’re being a-holes and you want some peace!
Day 21
Message: Dear XXX and XXX, I hope you are well. The North Pole was very cold last night so I’m pleased to be back in your nice warm house. Isn’t it nice to get a letter? Kindness Challenge: Write someone a letter today. Love ELF.
Idea: Elfie is warming up by a radiator near the door, and has left a letter on the mat (I use scrap paper). They can write to Granny, a friend, just to say a Christmas hello. Take a walk to post it.
Day 22
Message: Play a game today! And be a GOOD loser/winner!
Idea: Elf has set up a stack of fave family games. And if anyone starts kicking off you point to the message and remind them Elf wants them to play nicely.
Day 23 (if you have pets)
Message: Be Kind to Pets Day! Kindness Challenge: Do something special for your pet.
Idea: Elf is in the pet bed/by food/ etc. Obvs only works if you have a pet. Invite the cat to a tea party and give it a Dreamie licky thing. Make the hamster a box-maze. Take the dog for it’s fave walk, or make it a dog-food sculpture. You get the gist.
Day 23 (if you don’t have pets)
Message: Not all animals have enough to eat in the winter. Kindness Challenge: Feed the birds today!
Idea: Elf has left bird seed/ porridge oats / other out for the to scatter in the garden. Alternatively buy some cat food and stick it in the pet donation bin at a supermarket. Boom.
Day 24
Message: Put on a show for your Mum and Dad!
Idea: Elf and a cast of toys are behind the curtains somewhere, staging a show. They’ve left blank tickets for the kids to fill in and give out, and popcorn for the audience. Kids then have to GO AWAY and come up with a show!!!!!
PART 3: DAY 25 EXIT POEM
Goodbye XXX Goodbye XX! I’m sorry I can’t stay But I’ve loved my time at home with you Much more than I can say. I’ll miss your smiley faces And hearing all your news - The good you do for others The kindness that you choose. For kindness is super-power You’ve all got in SPADES Please keep it up while I’m not here - Make sure it never fades. For you year 2022 Will be a brilliant, stellar one! And I’ll be back again to see you Once it’s very nearly done. Lots and lots of love, ELF XXXXXX
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