But the whole point of this was that we (me and him, not you and me) weren’t happy together. And that’s why we couldn’t be together any more.

So if you make him a happier, better version of himself, then that’s a good thing – in the long run – for everyone.

Yes, it hurt that it was so soon. But what hurt even more is how you both chose to announce it. Publicly. Less than 3 months after he confirmed our 19 year relationship was over. Without any warning to me. Without any thought for the small people.

I don’t mean to put blame in the wrong place. I would address him if I thought he could listen – but I already know he doesn’t have empathy for me and can’t put himself in my shoes. I guess I was hoping that the next person who came along might be able to do so. And that maybe it would help things.

New relationships are heady, and new and euphoric. I get it. But all of that could have been kept to yourselves for just a LITTLE bit longer.

To put it out in front of our shared friends, school parents and others, in the middle of inevitably upsetting divorce negotiations, so very, very soon after our split – I just don’t understand it. I don’t get why either of you would think that was constructive, or necessary, or okay – or calculated to do anything but cause damage?

I know he is angry with me. He has been angry with me for a long, long time. Maybe he has reason. I really don’t know anymore.

I do know that you don’t have any reason – we don’t even know each other.

At the very best, from your perspective, it was a naive thing to do.

And I find your lack of consideration concerning.

It makes me worry that the small girls that are my everything might well be spending time with you – again presumably sooner than I might wish.

I don’t want to be in psycho-ex/younger-upgrade conflict – I’m too damn tired and too damn heart-sick.

I want those beautiful girls to spend time with adults who will love them, and treasure them, and accept them, and put them first because they are just children who have done nothing wrong and did not ask to be in this situation.

I really hope you turn out to be THAT other woman.

Because that other woman I think I can work with.